Tuesday, June 24, 2008

If We Had But World Enough and Time

OK, enough with the mystery. The big event that I referred to is that I lost my job. Isn't that a funny phrase? I looked everywhere, I put up posters, I retraced my steps, but it's just lost. I hope it found a good home.

In answer to your first question: No, I don't know what I'm going to do yet. I have a job interview on Thursday and the possibility of another the week after. Since this Friday is the last day, on Monday I go into disaster mode: defer student loans, apply for unemployment, check in with my food stamp worker. I'm not eligible for a severance package because I only work part-time, though I've worked there for two years.

Mine was one of 10 jobs at my agency that got de-funded due to the state's mainecare cuts. Unfortunately, it means that my entire program is closed down for the time being, until/unless they find another agency to run it.

The good news is that I know how to be very poor. In fact, I'd say I'm pretty damn good at it, having had a lifetime of experience. I can do without most everything.

The bad news is that I'm not very good at the not-knowing-what's-going-to-happen thing. The stress is mostly manifesting in my stomach, which burns and churns all day and night. I only want to eat plain white foods (mashed potatoes, animal crackers, marshmallows, rice cakes, boiled rice--and also apparently yellowtail sashimi, which hit the spot this weekend like nothing else). I've been dialing to the classic rock station in the car; it's the music of my childhood, so I figure it must be some kind of comforting. I can't sleep much for days at a time and then spend the next days napping in between errands. I also cry at almost everything, but I think that's more related to my birth control (that's right! I'm one of the least pregnant lesbians in Portland!).

It may turn out that my internet access is one of those things to go, but I'll give you some notice before that happens. There's also a convenient internetty coffee shop just a few blocks away, and I might be spending a lot of time there nursing a $1 coffee...

That's the scoop, and now you know. I'll keep you posted as things develop.

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