Thursday, July 31, 2008

Tweets for Today

  • 16:43 @becw: I can fix it! Clippers=oiled=many hairs cut in my kitchen. #
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Monday, July 28, 2008

Cake Wrecks

Today's random reference:

Cake Wreck: The most f*ed up cakes ever (via slog).

Oh, OK, one more:

Friday, July 25, 2008

Tweets for Today

  • 09:41 I must mention: literary tattoos ( But if I started, I could never choose just one--I'd be written all over. #
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I Found It!

My new career! Drum roll please... Rent-An-Urban-Gardener for lazy Locavores:
Eating locally raised food is a growing trend. But who has time to get to the farmer’s market, let alone plant a garden?

That is where Trevor Paque comes in. For a fee, Mr. Paque, who lives in San Francisco, will build an organic garden in your backyard, weed it weekly and even harvest the bounty, gently placing a box of vegetables on the back porch when he leaves.
via cheap like me

I think I'm now taking reservations for the growing season of 2009.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

I'm It

I got tagged for this meme, and I really like Dawn, so here goes:

1) What is your favorite quotable line from a Movie.
From The Princess Bride, which I have watched at least seventy five times:

Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

A close second is from Heathers:

"Well, fuck me gently with a chain saw!"

2) Who is the most famous person you have spoken to?
Here is an unimpressive list of my brushes with fame:

  • I went to one year of college with the son of Kool from Kool and the Gang, and also with the daughter of Bob Balaban (from Best In Show, etc.)
  • I know a lot of writers: At my MFA program I worked with Kelly Link (one of my personal heroes), Leslea Newman, Lewis Robinson, and Alan Davis and met dozens of others. I dated Jaimee Wriston Colbert’s son and performed at the same open mic with Patricia Smith. I’m friends with Jaed Coffin and hope to get a chance to make monkey faces at his baby soon. I met Dorothy Allison and Leslie Feinberg at a conference (my jaw chattering so much I could barely speak; they were both gracious).
  • I also know or have met a lot of not-really-famous-indie-musicians: Adhamh Roland, Dave End, Northern Spy, VT&TG, David Rovics, Actor Slash Model, that circus klezmer band.

3) How many bags/boxes of Potato Chips are consumed at your place in a month?

Less than 1—most flavored potato chips have lactose in them, and the plain ones are, let’s admit it, not awesome.But shall we talk about tortilla chips?That, my friend, is a different story.

4) Who is your all time favorite Cartoon Character?
Princess Mononoke

5) What foreign food Dish do you prepare from scratch and Serve?
Stir fry.
And I find the capitalization in these questions completely fascinating.

6) What is your favorite section of the Supermarket?
I love cereal. Even though I don’t drink milk. In fact, it was Optimum Power Breakfast cereal with blueberries that taught me that I could learn to love soy milk. (God, I'm a dork.) I can’t wait until I no longer have a growing Daughter to set an example for and can eat Cocoa Puffs for every meal.

7) What was your high school teams mascot and what were the school's colors?
They were the Mustangs (or the Lady Mustangs, depending on the gender of the players), and they were a sexy, sexy maroon and white.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Things I've Done With My Time Off Due To Lack-of-Work Unemployment

  • Attended to my social life (visited friends, talked to people in person--see below, called everyone back)
  • Disconnected the internet
  • Solidified my whistling skills
  • Wrote six different versions of my resume
  • Bottled last year's apple wine
  • Learned how to make a sock monkey
  • Got addicted/further addicted to new TV shows on DVD (Six Feet Under, The Wire)
  • Bought things with change
  • Hung out laundry
  • Went camping with my family
  • Visited friends' families
  • Argued with Daughter, who has been out of camp for three weeks and is blessedly going back tomorrow
  • Cut coupons out of the paper and let them expire
  • Cooked beans
  • Walked
  • Walked a lot
  • Went gardening
  • Spent a lot of time at the public library for free internet
  • Used three online services to search for jobs
  • Applied for twelve jobs (and still counting)
  • Made lists of things
  • Forgot what day of the week it is
  • Thought about knitting
  • Went to the beach twice
  • Made a list of things I would buy if I had unlimited money
  • Got sunburned
  • Picked strawberries
  • Got definitely rejected from two jobs
  • Made at least four different budgets
  • Forgot about important appointments
  • Became despondent about my job prospects
  • Became ecstatic about my job prospects
  • Took a nap

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Without a Net

It is as I feared, and sooner: the internet has gone away from my house, which means that my posting here will probably be scattered.

This is my first week of unemployment. The first day I was starting to get anxious about how many hours there are to be filled; I resisted taking a nap because that would have postponed bedtime, and I wanted to be asleep as soon as possible to make the day over.

Since then I've been trying to make plans with every day, rationing out walks downtown to check my PO box or visit the farmer's market. I installed a screen on the back door, worked in the garden, cleaned and cleaned and cleaned. Visited some friends. It helps that a neighbor is also recently laid off, so we take trips together downtown. Somewhere there's a worry that I will run out of projects, but I am supposing that I will find things to do. I got seven pieces of mail from the unemployment office, each one needing to be filled out and mail back: that's the better part of a morning's work right there.

A kind friend recently sent me a quote (from a book that I lent her, but never mind) that she thought I would appreciate, and she was right. It's from an essay called Blueprints and Hardwires by Cassie Peterson, from Michelle Tea's Without a Net: The Female Experience of Growing Up Working Class. I completely identify, without the Maury Povich. For me it's Season 1 of Six Feet Under.:

It's like flatlining, losing your job. From thirty-five hours a week to zero. Zero hours. Zero structure. Zero dollars. I've been unemployed before, but it was always by choice. I was emotionally and financially prepared. But when someone else pulls the plug, it sends you reeling into the now empty seven days of your work week. Anyone who's been laid off will tell you that it takes a full two weeks just to get out of your pajamas. You order a lot of take-out and watch a lot of Maury Povich.

And then the money goes. And then you get dressed.I am overwhelmed by the rigmarole of bureaucratic paperwork. I can't keep it all straight-the unemployment forms, the food-stamp applications, the drastically increasing number of ID cards that I am being forced to carry around with me. Being poor is a full-time job. Every minute the government demands that you prove your current economic status, leaving absolutely no time for you to improve it. I have to schedule job interviews between all my other red-tape appointments.

I am in a three-hour line in the social services building...I am filling out more forms. Always more forms. I use red pen, losing my patience and writing snide answers in the margins, like, 'No, I have no new income to report. Don't you fucking get it? I'm broke. Just like yesterday and the day before.' The man at the window is not amused. He shoots me a scolding look and hands me a fresh form to fill out. 'Just mark the correct boxes,' he warns.


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