Safe!

I had to stop myself this morning from saying "if you spent as much time on your homework as you did on your hair, your grades would be halfway decent."

But I did stop myself. Barely.

Sigh. My transformation into my (pre-breakdown) mother is almost complete.

Gobble Gobble

Daughter and I are headed off to visit the Fam in Central Maine today, and very much looking forward to it (except for the drive. I really don't car trips much at all.) But an overstuffed tummy and a game of progressive rummy will more than make up for it.

Given my confirmed status as a data geek, I submit for your Thanksgiving viewing enjoyment, a gift from Indexed:

"Helper monkey!" Ha ha ha ha.

Narcotics Fun

I don't generally like to post about my personal stuff (the internet being what it is) but I am under the influence and feeling brave, so here goes...*

I have this chronic condition** and it is incredibly painful. It's the reason I had surgery last year, and my doc and I have tried a bunch of things to fix it. The side effects of the other drugs were worse than the issue itself, yadda yadda, so Doc and I have come down to plain old pain management until I'm willing to go through another surgery. Which won't happen until I get health insurance in January***.

So I took the first dose of painkillers tonight, and WOO-HOO... I can see why people really like this stuff! It's like being packed in warm cotton balls. While eating chocolate. Only better.

Hooray for lack of pain! Hooray for warm cotton balls! I think I'm going to go take a nap!

*OK, if I'm completely honest, I'm also suddenly thinking about my online presence and what it says about me. For example, Typealyzer seems to think I'm an ESTP personality type, i.e. "The active and play-ful type...especially attuned to people and things around them and often full of energy, talking, joking and engaging in physical out-door activities. The Doers are happiest with action-filled work which craves their full attention and focus. They might be very impulsive and more keen on starting something new than following it through. They might have a problem with sitting still or remaining inactive for any period of time." Which is weird, because I've always tested as an ISTJ, the most introverted and quiet and steady and goal-oriented of all personality types. Which makes me think about what kind of personality I'm presenting to the internets. Not that this particular post is going to change that. Also, I'm high, in case you can't tell.

**in respect for those who get all squicked out talking about medical stuff I will not go into specifics, but you can click here to learn more about it if you are the kind of person who likes to discuss medical stuff.

***If it happens at all. Surgery scares me. And laser surgery sounds particularly horrifying and future-tastic. Not in the good way.

I Know What You're Getting...

I just found this kickass pattern for a grocery bag crocheted out of recycled, um, grocery bags. So I finally know what I'm giving everyone for holiday gifts! Well, if I can get my lazy ass up, collect some grocery bags, and make some plarn...

(thx for the heads-up, Kory!)

Dear God, YES!

Please, let's everybody use bacon to make bowls. No, for real. It would solve global warming (cuz we'd all be dead of heart attacks in five years), plus it would be extra-super-delicious.

Tweets for Today

• 21:29 I am unsatisfied with the twitter/facebook status/update meshing. So there. #

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Joy

I just subscribed to the RSS feed for the website of our president-elect. A new world is possible! Hooray for technology! (again)

Your Saturday Evening Plans

WINTER CACHE PROJECT HARVEST DINNER (with music by the maine squeeze), ART SHOW, AND SKILL SHARE.

Saturday November 15, Williston West Church, 32 Thomas street, Portland, 1-830pm.

1-2pm
canning your bounty with julia
kimchi/sauerkraut making with local sprouts (bring a jar)
2-3pm
herbal medicine making with angel
how to make a solar dehydrator with chris
3-4pm
worm composting with julia
kombucha with gail (bring a jar)
4-5pm
beer and root beer making with jen **that's me!**
5-6pm
build a root cellar in your basement chat with jeff
backyard bees with fran

6pm
incredible harvest dinner with all local organic produce by local sprouts cooperative, with music from the maine squeeze.

730pm
Kai George and Diana Chapin, residents of Montville, will be speaking about moratorium on Genetically Modified Organisms they helped pass in their town, what GMOs are and why it is important to protect our farms and food supply from GMOs.

workshops: sliding scale $5-20/per workshop
dinner and speaker: sliding scale $15-30
pay what you can, no one turned away....

VOLUNTEERS NEEDED: if you would like to volunteer to set up, cook or clean up, contact hanifa: hanifaw@gmail.com

Plans

The next time I can take six months off, this is what I'm going to do. To hell with the Appalachian Trail. I'm going to live in a tent that I made from the skin of a deer that I killed. In January. In Canada. Hells yeah.

Realizaton of the Day:

I can approximate the date of my enrollment in any online service by the evolution/complication of the password. Might be time to update those suckers.

Tweets for Today

• 16:31 is f'ing tired of the Beauty and the Beast soundrack. Wondering if a return to Hannah Montana would be an improvement. #

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Chute

NYT profiles Carolyn Chute. (via slog)

Library Love

We use the library a lot. I get probably 10 books a month, and Daughter gets maybe 5. Plus occasional movie rentals and computer use. Through this long, difficult summer, I would have done something drastic without that unending source of free entertainment. Like, join Landmark, or something.

I found this cool tool on the web that helps calcuate how much library use is worth to you. In our family, the tab would be upwards of $250 a month.

The reasoning of the tool is a little flawed: I wouldn't necessarily buy every book that I read (sometimes I pick a book that I'm not sure I'd like, and why not? it's free!). But it's sobering to think about, because if the library didn't exist, I'd sure be reading a lot less. Like, maybe a 10th of what I read now. And I'd probably be in a cult. Or watching TV. Which is maybe the same thing.

Amazement

A day late, but still worth saying:

Election

I'm sitting at my house with two internet feeds and the television on... This is excruciating. I just want it to be tomorrow morning with our new President O, and that's it.

I did spend some time mixing the sound for WMPG's live election night coverage this evening, and it felt good to participate in even that small way.

It's a Christmas Miracle

I don't believe in paying for TV (um, except for paying for the internet and, uh, netflix), so we have little rabbit ears on top of the set. Mysteriously this summer the four channels we had been getting suddenly disappeared, leaving us with only many channels of static. I tried hard not to care.

But on Sunday I was kind of desperate for a look at another adult face, so I tried the TV. The channels are back! All four of them! And now I can obsess through the night with every other election-watcher. What else could it be but a Christmas miracle (TM)? God bless us, every one!

Current Theory

People in their early adolescence develop a hive-mind--an unconscious group-think process--that renders them completely unable to think independently. They become linked by an invisible communications network that only works when the entire network is activated.

The logical consequences of thinking pattern are: hours-long phone conversations that follow hours-long visits, a complete inability to be alone, instant knowledge of whether something is cool or not--even before it's been experienced, Hannah Montana and the entire Disney Channel.

Why do they not hand out tranquilizers upon the maturation of one's daughter. Why?