Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Design Flaw: His Hair Would Block the Cameras

From Mike Heath's blog today (www.mikeheath.net ).  But don't visit it, because the last thing this guy needs is to think he's got support.
In case you're not familiar with Michael Heath (lucky you)--he's the weirdly-coiffed, queer-obsessed leader of the Christian Civic League of Maine (the folks who circulated those petitions trying to overturn the queer civil rights bill last fall).
"I'm running for Governor (not really)
"On April 1st I'm going to announce that I'm running for Governor of Maine.  I just don't like any of the current crop of candidates.  ... I want a governor who carries a gun and we ars LL Bean boots to the office.  I don't know if Woodcock is a hunter.  I don't care if he's a hunter or not.  I want him to bring the gun to work because he can, and to tick off the pagans who have moved into the State House.
"...My second priority will, of course, be to honor gaydom.  I'm going to do one better than protect people on the basis of their "sexual orientation."  Since gaydom is all about making our personal relationships more fluid, more free, my second act in office will be to create the "Office of Homeland Insecurity."  Now, I'm going to need someone really good at speaking up and making people feel safe and protected, especially the feminized and transexual.  They seem to really really really really ... no really ... want the protection of the government. Therefore, I have decided to appoint the most manly guy I know to provide this needed protection.  Paul Madore of Lewiston will be the Commissioner of Homeland Insecurity.
Madore is going to need a good Attorney General to help him.  Since I hate lawyers and believe they are bottom feeding scum suckers I can't appoint one of them.  Lets see.  I need a man who has shown that he is willing to take on unpopular causes for the good of the people.  I know.  My Attorney General will be Mike Hein of Augusta.  He is the only man in Augusta with the common sense to suggest that underwear clad young women shouldn't cavort with naked men wearing fishnet in picture windows on Main Street.  He'll make a great AG.
I won't need Commissioners of Education and Human Services cause I'm just going to close those departments.  That will cut the budget by two thirds, definitely a good thing."
I like to try to empathize with everyone, because [well, because I'm a bit of a voyeur, but besides that] everyone's person-ness carries equal weight in the world.  And, everyone's viewpoint comes from somewhere, and understanding that where is important because then you can see how they're different from you--and occasionally have fruitful debate/conversation with them.
OK, that's all a little flaky even for me--but the point is that I can't understand Mr. Heath's worldview.  What does he expect will happen with no schools and no safety nets?  Would he prefer beggars on the street?  Hm.  I guess maybe he would.

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